I got the acceptance letter for this coming August intake at Taylor's! Finally, it's time for me to enter my uni life once and for all. :)
However, I can't get over the fact that I'm scared. I'm insecure of all the changes I'm about to encounter, be it big or small. To have life being so different from what it is now, to start life anew in an unfamiliar city... Below, the things I do not ever wish to change.
To be able to see my family everyday. Can't imagine not seeing Mum and lil bro. Never left them for more than 2-3 weeks time. :( To have Vanilla greet me at the door everyday when I come home, having him stare at me with his gorgeous greenish brown eyes, and climbing into my lap wanting affection. :/
My house. A lovely place to come home to, where I'd feel safe and comfortable. A place i can run to no matter how bad my day outside was. To have my laundry cleaned and folded for me, and Mum always having yummy food laid out ready on the table for us. Internet connection at home. Astro at home- I don't want having to watch TV1 etc when I come home everyday. My car to drive freely around in. Everything is so convenient at home.. And my room full with memories and things. The bouquets, cards, pictures.. My comfortable bed and warm quilt I sleep in every night. The Bear I hug to bed. My closet, bags and shoes.
And my friends- now one by one flying off to different states to further their studies. No one I know is going to Taylor's though, and that sucks. :( This part is always out of my comfort zone- I'm always shy around strangers. Will I be able to reach out, break the silence and make new friends? Will I be able to make awesome friends like how I did? Will I have awesome friends like how I have now? Will I be ALONE? :(
To leave Kuching in general. The place where I call home, the place where most of my connections are. The place where I know people and where people know me. Familiar faces everywhere, saying hi to people everywhere I go. My go to places around town- Startbucks, Watsons, Mcds, The Spring...
Soul Dance- the place where I learn and improve my dancing, at the same time make friends and know new people. Will the new place provide me with a good dance crew to bring me further in my dancing? I'm not as good as many, but I am quite known for my love of dancing. Will I be able to make a place for myself in the dance scene over there? :/
Lastly, I promised myself I won't fall in love, not before I go off to studies, because it would kill me having to fly off and have us in two separate places.... But still, I couldn't help myself. Him and I, we started something I feel is very special. And I dread having to leave him. :'( It would be heart breaking, to not be able to see his face, to see him smiling at me, to see him making funny faces that never fails to make me laugh. To eat with him, talk to him, feel him breathe... Ugh, my inside hurts already.
Despite all that. I'm sure I won't regret taking this step of change. Change is for the better. Change is good. I'm excited and looking forward to all the new things coming into my life. Imma be optimistic about things. I look forward to the adventure that awaits me. :)
With all the love,