Monday, June 29, 2015

Dear Keryn, wife and mom.

When you read this you are already married with children, take the advice given to you by your 23 year-old self back in 2015 in anyway that you can. Your perspectives may change since then but what you felt as a child (more so a young adult) is so much relevant to when you become a parent yourself. :)

Always be supportive of your spouse and children. Make sure they know that you are always there for them no matter what, always prepared to listen to them and give encouraging words. Be there whenever they need a shoulder. Be their support system when they want to venture into new things. Be their safe place to run to whenever the outside world is too hard for them to bare. Be it when they come to your room door in the middle of the night crying after a bad dream, when they come to you with relationship problems or when they come to you after facing an arrogant superior at work. Be it the little things, the big things. Be their lighthouse. Be there for them always.

I know you'd want the best achievements of your spouse and children, but don't push them too hard. You felt the pressure growing up as the eldest child, feeling the need to be perfect in everything and ever so afraid to disappoint anyone. And you know what its like giving your all but feeling that it's never enough and your efforts not appreciated. Don't let those around you feel this way. Give a push to those around you when needed, but not too hard. Appreciate their effort in what ever they do and as long as they've given their best, let them know that it's alright to not be the best in everything.

Be responsible for your actions because every thing you do will have an impact on the people around you. Be the person you want your children to become and be a role model for them to look up to. Be kind and loving to them and to everyone. Be the positive person that gives a positive influence to your partner/ children. When people ask your children "where you get your demeanour/fashion sense/optimistic attitude from?" and they would answer "My mom." Be that mom. "I wouldn't have achieved all this without the support of my wife. She's amazing." Be that wife.

Let them grow up with pets. You know the joy of having a puppy in the family and you know the comfort you receive from Vanilla when you are sad and lonely. Give them the love and loyalty of a dog (or a cat, if your spouse somehow successfully convince you that a pet cat is worth keeping) and they will thank you very much for it. For the memories, and for the companionship they received from loving a family pet. With that said, also give them the joy of growing up with music and dance.

Never stop giving and expressing love. You grew up blessed with a tight knit with your family. Keep that going while adding on building family traditions because it's the that family traditions that keep the family bonds strong. You've been lucky to get to travel when growing up at least once a year be it near or far. And you know how important travelling and the memories that come from it are to a child. Keep it going for your children and make sure your children enjoy the luxury of travelling as much as you did or even more. Give them something to look forward to as a family.

Also, celebrate festivals together. Chinese New Year, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas. Whenever possible, give presents to your loved ones to show how you appreciate them in your life. Let them know that they live in abundance, be it love, attention, or the need for material things. Don't let them beg for anything. Every one has desires, make sure they get enough from the family that they don't need to seek it anywhere else.

Marriage is not the end of romance. Remember this! Make the effort to keep the romance going. Go on dates, dress nicely for your partner. Keep the 2-2-2 advice in mind. Never stop putting effort in romance. Make sure your spouse puts effort too if not just go ahead and slap some sense into him lol. 

You enjoy clothes and make up so keep that going throughout life because dressing up is a joy of life for you. Keep your image and keep your social circle. And never ever let yourself go lol. Hopefully by now you'd have achieved your ideal weight but even if that's still far from reach. Don't let your weight define who you are but at the same time don't give excuses to not work hard on your body. Even if you are 70kg after giving birth to your 3rd child and you feel ugly af. Don't forget to do your hair and wear nice things and put that lipstick on. Wear that Chanel bag that's been collecting dust and head out for a tea session with your girlfriends. Keeping an effort on your image means respecting yourself, your partner and your family. 

And no matter what happens in life, remember that everything happens for a reason. Life may become overwhelming at time but always take time to smell the flowers. Hold true to this whenever, and teach this to your children too. Teach them about the law of attraction- the secret, and the importance of gratitude- the magic, in everyday life. Let it be their guide on the journey through life. Teach them to be a truly happy person because at the end of the day the most important thing is happiness.

Just some spontaneous rambling done on 28/6/2015. Maybe what the 23 year-old Keryn said here may sound ignorant in more ways than one to the more grown up and mature you, as everything is easier said than done. But do know that this is what I sincerely want for you in your future which is nothing less than the best. Best of luck!!




With all the love,
Kxin

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